


Elves and Boxes and Groping, Oh My!

by Water_Nix



Series: Klaintana Spooning 'Verse [8]
Category: Glee
Genre: Banter, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Spooning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-26
Updated: 2013-02-26
Packaged: 2017-12-03 17:05:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/700633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Water_Nix/pseuds/Water_Nix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt, Blaine and Santana try to get some rest after a busy day in Bushwick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Elves and Boxes and Groping, Oh My!

It's been a long time since they've done this, the three of them all together. Kurt and Blaine have had a few opportunities since patching things up the spring before, and now that Santana lives in New York and shares Kurt's bed some nights, it has become rather commonplace between the two of them. But all three spoons in a row, content smiles stretched across faces, tucked together and on the verge of sleep, in the midst of comfort – it has been a very long time indeed.

They're exhausted from carrying all of Blaine's boxes into the apartment and unpacking them. Another pair of hands would have been helpful, but Rachel had begged off, saying all the dust from the cardboard was bad for her voice. Santana tried to shank her with a box opener, but Blaine pulled her away while Rachel made her escape.

Kurt snuggles down, twisting his neck to press a smacking kiss to Blaine's lips.

“What, don't I get a kiss too?” Santana asks from in front of him.

“Not since last time when you stuck your tongue down my throat,” Kurt grumbles back.

“I was drunk. It was funny. You made a noise like an angry duck.”

“I was choking on your tongue.”

Santana snorts a laugh and Blaine has to hide his face in the back of Kurt's neck to stifle his. Just as they're settling into the quiet, Santana speaks up again.

“Don't be shy just because your little prince charming is here now, Snow White. You can touch my luscious ass. I know you wants ta.”

“Oh my God, don't start. Just go to sleep, Santana.”

“Blainers, did you know that your boyfriend is a nocturnal ass fondler? Instead of sleep walking or talking, he feels the ass of whoever's nearest.”

“I said I was sorry! I was asleep!”

“Well, yes, I was aware of that actually. But I guess I assumed it was just because it was _me_ ,” Blaine says.

Santana shrugs, her shoulders moving up near Kurt's face. “Nah. He'll grope any ass in close proximity. Sorry to bust your bubble, Bubble Butt.”

“Oh come on, not any ass. I do have taste. Give me some credit,” Kurt argues.

“Are you complimenting my ass?” she asks.

“What? Just because I'm not interested in women doesn't mean I can't appreciate a fine ass.”

“So you loves all asses that be round. Whatever you say, Gropey Smurf.”

“Uh-huh. If you're so upset about it you can always go sleep in Rachel's bed like I told you.”

“No thanks. At least I know your sheets are clean of bodily fluids. God knows what Berry and that large-toothed He-Man wannabe leave all over hers. Gross. You're not gettin' any action from anyone. Well, you weren't until later tonight I suppose. But I'll make myself scarce for that fuck-fest.”

She slides her hand back and taps Kurt on the hip, bringing up against Blaine's fingertips which are resting there. He slides them forward and clasps her hand, giving her fingers a gentle squeeze. She squeezes back and lets go, then pokes Kurt once in the belly before retracting her hand. He lets out a squawk and she laughs. “Well, besides the action going on in secret between your wandering hands and my perfect tush, of course. But we'll leave them to it.”

“Yeah, yeah. Go to sleep,” Kurt grumbles. “And please do not mention Rachel and him and... ick.”

Blaine laughs behind him, shaking all three of their bodies.

“At least he doesn't live here anymore. She's a bit more tolerable alone. If he still lived here I'd probably have killed her by now. Her usual fuckery is enough without adding in his leering and idiocy and their hideous yet brief sex noises.”

Kurt shudders and Blaine makes a cooing sound, encircling both Kurt and Santana with his arms.

“Really,” Santana continues as though Blaine isn't taking her seriously enough. “She wakes up at the asscrack of dawn and starts bellowing this hideous racket. Every. Morning. And she uses all the hot water taking showers that last forever when me and Prancey got places to be. Seriously, you're gonna kill her, Blainers. Even sweet little flowers and moonbeams you will get homicidal after a week or two.”

“Or three or four,” Kurt mutters.

“Lady Lips an' me have got a bet goin' on how long it takes you to lose your shit.”

“I won't.”

“Will,” Santana agrees in a fakely sweet voice. Kurt nods his head.

“You will somehow politely tell her to smarten the hell up sooner or later,” Kurt says.

“Yep. Sooner I say. And not as polite as you usually are when you tell people off either.”

“Geez guys! It's Rachel.”

Kurt sighs and rubs a hand over Blaine's forearm. “I'm shocked and a bit affronted to have to admit that I agree with Santana here, honey. It's only a matter of time. I love Rachel, but she's pretty goddamn annoying to live with a lot of the time.”

“Amen to that, sister.” Santana turns and raises her hand in the air, silently requesting a high five from Kurt, which he gives her with a roll of his eyes.

“I'm sure it's not that bad, you two,” Blaine continues to argue.

“Oh, it's that bad, T. Baggins. It's that fuckin' bad.”

Kurt makes a hum of confusion, his brow furrowed. “Okay, you lost me with that one.”

“Tea bag. Baggins. Because I'm a gay hobbit...” Blaine says in a weary voice.

“Oh, those little guys in the movie with the pretty elf men who get you all hot and bothered?”

“Um...” Blaine gives a nervous sounding laugh.

“Well he certainly as a type,” Santana says wryly.

“Huh?” Kurt asks in confusion. Blaine, red-faced, leans up to kiss the tip of Kurt's ear. “Hey!” Kurt slides his hand up and touches the ear once Blaine withdraws. “I can't even – You used to force me to watch those movies back at Dalton, Blaine! Dalton!”

“Yeah, that's when I first noticed...”

“Before we were even together! You made me pine for months while you were... God, I don't even want to know.”

“Imagining sucking your elfy ear points while you plundered his hobbit hole?” Santana asks with an evil grin.

It's silent for a moment. Kurt lets out a huff to break it. “Blaine, why are you not speaking up to deny this?”

Blaine forces a laugh that sounds almost exactly like _haha_. “We should... stop talking about this.”

“Fine,” Kurt replies coolly. “But only because Santana is here and she will tell people.”

“I'm telling people anyway. Don't stop on my account.”

“No way. We are not having this discussion in front of you. Though we _are_ having it,” Kurt warns, craning his neck to give a very sheepish Blaine a _look_.

Santana shrugs. “Probably for the best. The shit I make up will be better anyway.”

It's quiet again, the three of them situating themselves in more comfortable positions. Blaine cuddles in closer to Kurt's back and hooks his chin over his shoulder, and Kurt, somewhat against his will, is pulled in nearer to Santana. She takes both of the boys' hands and rests them in a pile on her hip.

“Just so ya know, I'm totally buying a wig and some flowy velvet robes for your birthday, Elfersexual. To add to your roleplay costume trunk.”

“We don't have one of those,” Blaine says. “Maybe we should –”

Kurt cuts him off before he can say too much. “Oh yeah, because you're definitely getting me into that,” he mutters, dripping sarcasm.

“Nah. Getting you out of it would be more the point, wouldn't it?”

Blaine chuckles and Kurt reaches around to smack him on the ass. “Why are we even discussing this again?”

“Because Blainers's got himself a serious boner for pretty elf-men and you like to fuck hobbits.”

“I do not.... _hobbits_.”

“The curls, the tiny stature, the disproportionately enormous feet – it all fits. He slicks his hair back and wears shoes so he doesn't get found out by the soulless, shrieking creature, looking for a man's ring at any cost.”

“Oh my God, are you talking about Rachel?” Kurt asks with a snort.

“No, she's talking about Nazgul,” Blaine corrects.

“Yeah, so Rachel,” Santana says.

“That's mean,” Blaine says, “And how do you know so much about _Lord of the Rings_ anyway, Santana?”

“I've got my secrets, too, you kinky little ear sucker.”

“He does _not_ suck on my _ears_!”

“Not your ears, huh? He just fantasizes about sucking on those while being forced to keep his actual sucking to other areas.”

Kurt reaches back to smack Blaine on the ass again. “Tell her, Blaine!”

“Uh...” He forces another fake sounding laugh.

“He wants to suck on your ears, you wants my ass. Everybody's secrets are out.”

“Not yours,” Kurt says.

“Not gonna happen, Herself the Elf.”

“I know things,” Kurt warns.

“You do not.”

“You talk in your sleep.”

Santana stills in front of him and Kurt leans forward, pressing his lips in close to her ear. “Oh Quiiiinnnnn....” he says in a soft moan. She remains a statue in front of him and he lays back against Blaine, reaching up to smooth her hair. “Checkmate, Miss Lopez.”

“Fine. You win this round, Elrond Hummel.”

He chuckles. “Now, was that so hard to admit?”

“About as hard as your dick when I shoved my tongue in your mouth.”

“So not at all then.”

“You wish.”


End file.
